Agribusiness Leadership provides the necessary tools to unveil the fundamental principles of
Empowered Leaders that Trust themselves and the relationships they lead and leaders who are curious to discover who they are and who they lead.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “They should just know better…” or “Why am I the only one who cares this much?” These are some thoughts that come out of the hidden rulebook
I sure have and I know that in the moment those thoughts reflect my response.
That frustration? It usually goes back to something you’ve never written down, never said out loud, and maybe never even realized was there:
The hidden rulebook….
As leaders, we all carry invisible rulebooks—unspoken standards about how things should be done, how people should behave, and how we should show up. These rules quietly shape how we lead, how we judge others, and how we define success. But here’s the truth:
If you don’t know what’s in your rulebook, you’ll lead from resentment instead of intentionality.
So how do you unpack what’s actually driving your leadership? Here are three questions I have worked through and found helpful:
Revealing The Hidden Rulebook of Leadership
How Unspoken Expectations Might Be Undermining Your Influence
Frustration is often a clue. It’s usually not the situation itself—it’s that one of your internal rules has been broken.
Maybe you expect your team to take initiative without being asked.
Maybe you believe a “good leader” should always be available.
Ask yourself:
“What ‘should’ am I attaching to this situation?”
Once you name the rule, you take the edge off the emotion.
Instead of snapping or shutting down, you can ask:
Does this rule serve me—or is it time to rewrite it?
Uncovering the Silent Standards of The Hidden Rulebook
Sometimes we feel like we’re falling short, even though no one’s said a word.
It’s because we’re measuring ourselves by silent standards like:
These internalized expectations don’t make us stronger—they wear us down.
They make us rigid, overworked, and emotionally checked out.
Try asking:
“Whose voice is that in my head—and do I actually agree with it?”
This one’s big. Most leadership breakdowns don’t happen because someone wanted to get it wrong.
They happen because we assumed people already knew the rules.
We assume our team knows how we want things done.
We assume they value what we value.
We assume they’re ignoring us—when really, they’re just unclear.
Ask yourself:
“Have I made this expectation clear—or am I expecting them to read my mind?”
When we name the rules we’ve never said out loud, we stop blaming—and start creating clarity.
This is how cultures built on trust and understanding begin.
You don’t have to toss your rulebook—but you do need to open it.
Because great leadership doesn’t come from being perfect.
It comes from being intentional.
“Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking responsibility for the energy you bring into a space.” – Brené Brown
Gap and the Gain – Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy
The 5 keys to mindful communication – Susan Gills Chapman
3 Ways to show effective communication as a leader – Blog
Curious about how this ties into your leadership vision? My course Your Vision—Your Way helps leaders uncover the hidden expectations shaping their leadership style—and how to lead from alignment, not exhaustion. Check it out here »
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Burned Out & Blaming Your Team?
This FREE 5-minute video explains what’s really going on—and what to do instead.
